You took a piece of my apple heart

And I’ll never be whole…..without you.

This song is currently on repeat in my head

It is a current fav, and not just because of the yarn booming and cutesy knitting and crochet. I have no idea what was in the songwriters head when she wrote it – a man who stole the sun sounds fairly disasterous.

However, it is a funky little song – and the verse

Call in the coast guard
Scan the horizon for a light house
There’s a man overboard
We’re in six inches over our heads
If the dawn ever comes
I will calmly release my emotions
‘Cause there’s too much to fight off
It’s too big to wrestle with, hey

is my favourite. If my dawn ever comes, I hope that I will release my emotions and walk away. A completely different song in the Gambler also talks about knowing when to walk away….

Today, this walking away got a step closer. I have blogged about frustrations with exams, with NCEA, and again with NCEA, with sharing in schools, my sadness at damn fine people leaving education/teaching, right now in my moaning mood it seems I am frustrated with everything. I have always been able to LOVE my classroom more than being dragged down by the other things. Even when everything seems so daunting and horrid, stepping into a classroom with super cool young people make (almost anything) ok again.

Today I listened to people I respect say that the rate of change needs to slow down or stop. I protested (loudly – I was so incensed I was almost crying) and some-one well meaning said

‘your passion for IT is amazing’

And that was a piece of my apple heart gone.

It was too big to wrestle with. I was a man overboard, well more than 6 inches over my head.

I just shut up and played with my scarf for the remainder of the staff meeting.

Because it is not about the f$%^@$%ing IT.

It is about our kids. Our future. Our society and our world. Relationships, creativity, problem solving, innovation, collaboration, digital fluency, resilience, having fun. Not about ‘the IT’.

I just don’t know how to fight that battle.




2 thoughts on “You took a piece of my apple heart

  1. I hear the anguish. What I also hear is the immense frustration. My take on this is that you are SO frustrated because you are SO passionate (not about IT, but about education). You are also allowed to take time out from the battle, re-group, feed your own energy, and then come back to it when you are ready. Kia kaha e hoa.

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